Needs a serious overhaul... - werkgeversreview Project Manager bij HackerAgency

I have no idea where to start... 1 - We have it all! You'll love it here! Said no Hacker ever. You are told from the beginning that there are multiple opportunities for advancement and growth and that Hacker ultimately wants you to be "happy" even if you decide to change departments. When the time comes for a change this "support & encouragement" is nowhere to be found. If you're not happy, nobody cares. Just shut your mouth and fall back in line. 2 - What is Project Management? Oh! You mean wrangling kittens? Project Managers at Hacker do not operate or function as traditional Project Managers. They are essentially order-takers for a corrupt Account team that has little to no knowledge about the intricacies of effectively and efficiently running a project from start to finish. It does not matter if you have been a PM for 2 years or 12 years your experience and input DOES NOT MATTER. Step 1 - build a schedule....Step 2 - revise that schedule...Step 3 - revise that schedule again...Step 4: "I told the client we could go live tomorrow" (follow this with a look of confusion suggesting that you and the account person had this conversation before). 3 - Yes! We can definitely make a spaceship out of this Q-tip and a cup of dirt. How's tomorrow sound? You know what....we'll have it to you by EOD The Account Management team operates with a "yes" mentality. Please note that I am not suggesting the Account team tell the client "no", I am simply emphasizing the importance of running scenarios by your PM prior to having a discussion with the client. Seems simple enough, right? Wrong. It doesn't happen this way. Advice to the Account Team...try this...it's crazy, but it just might work: "Let me get in touch with the internal team and I'll get back to you" 4 - You're doing great juggling these bowling pins! So great, in fact, that I've decided to toss in some butterfly knives, hypodermic needles and a couple of chainsaws. Don't screw up. No matter how hard you work or how much you struggle don't expect your manager or anyone else to help out. People you think have your best interest in mind are the first to stab you in the back to get ahead. If you're reading this and thinking "is that me?" the answer is yes. 5 - Mama mama! Guess what Timmy said! Be careful who you vent to. A listening ear can quickly become a running mouth. Again....you know who I'm talking about. 6 - Ok. You 3 help me push the car. The other 7 of you can just stare directly into the sun. There is no standard process or training. You better get up to speed quick or you're going to fall behind. And if you fall behind and have no idea what you're doing then you'll be in the same boat as 70% of the project managers at Hacker. But no worries, the other 30% will cover for you where you fall short (not by choice of course). It's a sad reality and something I have come to expect, but there is no accountability for it. If you want to succeed at Hacker and leave at 3:30 everyday my suggestion is to do the bare minimum. Push all of your due dates to the same days as your planned PTO. Problem solved. 7 - I'd say that on any given week I really only do about 10 minutes of actual work. To be honest I'm not entirely sure what the Directors did/do...seemed like a lot of PTO to me. 8 - Bring your own feeding tube. You're going to need it. If you take a lunch you better be meeting your long lost family or the president himself because at Hacker it is NEVER ok to leave the office for lunch. Your life will be filled with Jimmy Johns or Specialties at your cube. And I'd be surprised if you even have time to eat before your Hunter's Club becomes your next case of food poisoning and you've gotta complete media workbooks from the can. 9 - Shiny object... how's my blazer look? Did I mention the Account team has no idea what's going on? 10 - When I was growing up I wanted to be a dinosaur. Are you interested in continuing to grow and learn? Forget about it. You won't have time. Hacker does a great job at making sure you're only as beneficial as they need you to be. They are not invested in your interests so go ahead and just give up on those now. 11 - "I feel like..." This is the most common statement at Hacker. You will likely hear this 5-10 per week or more. Just be aware that any time you hear "I feel like" it will be followed by a passive-aggressive phrase in a derogatory tone. 12 - Napoleon himself The CEO seems to be blind to the things that are crushing everyone. When was the last time you visited with your constituents to show your appreciation or strike up a casual conversation (and no, touring clients around the office like we're at a petting zoo doesn't count)? Take the time to get to know your employees/teammates. You'd be surprised what you'll learn if you just listen. 13 - Don't think no one notices...it's like someone let a silent-but-deadly one go inside a hot mini-van in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Biz dev is doing a bang up job creating false review on glassdoor. Do you honestly think people are that stupid? One star, one star, two stars, FIVE STARS! Whaaaaat? I recall shortly before leaving that biz dev requested that employees get on Glassdoor to leave positive review. Ha! Yea, ok! Consider it done.